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Here is information from the American Academy of Pediatrics about how to talk with your child about being adopted.
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Parents should: Meet the siiter and check references and training in advance. | Be certain the sitter has had first aid training and knows CPR. | Be sure the sitter is at least 13 years old and mature enough to handle common emergencies.
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We try to stick to a bedtime ritual by remembering the "4 B's":
- Kids under 2 years: Bath, Breast, Book, then Bed
- Kids 2 to 6 years: Bath, Brush (Teeth and Hair), Book, then Bed
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While family is the most important influence in a child’s life, media in all its forms, including TV, computers, and other screens, are not far behind. Because media can influence how children think, feel, and behave, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents to help their children form healthy media use habits early on. Read on for information about steps you can take to encourage healthy media use habits and to learn more about media messages and TV ratings.
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Your self-determined toddler can sometimes present a challenge when it comes to brushing her teeth. Try this: Sit on the floor cross-legged, placing your child on her back, resting herself on your leg. You are now looking down at her, while she is looking up at you. Let your child brush your teeth while you brush hers. You'll get loads of cooperation, as well as a good look at those molars!
Connie Giarratana, M.D.
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CONNECTED KIDS: Bullying is when one child picks on another child again and again. Usually children who are being bullied are either weaker or smaller, are shy, and generally feel helpless. Bullying most commonly takes place at school, when adults are not watching, or through email or instant messages. Whether your child is the one being bullied, doing the bullying, or simply a bystander, there are a number of measures you can take as a parent to improve their social skills and decrease their involvement in this detrimental practice.
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Sexual abuse of children is more common than most people think. About 1 out of 5 girls and 1 out of 10 boys will be sexually abused during their childhood. Parents can take steps to help prevent and recognize sexual abuse in children.
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The road to a bright smile begins long before the first tooth appears. Parents play a big part in helping their children develop healthy teeth. Early monitoring by your child's doctor and dentist is important.
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The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has developed this information about the benefits of choosing a pediatrician, how to choose a pediatrician, and why regular well-child visits are important.
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Finding high-quality child care is very important but not always easy. Your choice will play a key role in your child's health and development. Read on for more information from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) about child care options to help you in your search for what's best for your family.
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Sometimes, consequences are obvious; other times, parents struggle to come up with one for a troublesome behavior. Try this: ask your child to come up with the consequence of a particular behavior. It may not be the most effective solution, but it is rewarding (and sometimes quite entertaining!) as a parent to listen to his ideas. Together, you might just find a solution that works. Alternatively, explain to your child that parenting is a hard job, and parents don't know all the answers. Then, ask your child what he would do if he were a parent and had to solve this problem. Again, you may hear responses that you will treasure forever, and also might just work!
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Make sure your child care provider or baby sitter has immediate access to critical information in case of an emergency: Make a copy of your child's insurance card, and on the back attach a typed list of emergency phone numbers where you can be reached, as well as the number for your local poison control center. You may also want to note any allergies or medical conditions your child may have. Have this two-sided emergency card laminated at your local copy center, place it in a pocket of your child's diaper bag or backpack, and remember to tell the sitter where it can be found.
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At dinnertime, try stimulating conversation with your children by asking, "What one good thing happened to you today?" Let everyone - including Mom and Dad - take turns answering. This question is better than "How was school?" or other similar questions that children tend to answer with a simple word, like "okay," which quickly ends the conversation.
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As a parent, one of your jobs is to teach your child how to behave. While this can take time, try not to get frustrated when your child does not behave. Instead, learn effective ways to discipline your child. The following is guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics on how to discipline your child.
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Whether married, living together, or living apart, most parents hope to remain together when they have a child. Despite those intentions, parental separation and divorce affect nearly half of American families. For many children, separation and divorce can be as difficult as the death of a parent. Children need the guidance, patience, and love of both parents to help them through. Here is information from the American Academy of Pediatrics about parenting through separation and divorce.
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Today's youth are less active and more overweight than any previous generation.
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Our hectic, busy lives often leave us with little time to appreciate the magic of encouragement in our children's development of self-esteem. Positive strokes and expressions of love often are forgotten and replaced with negative reprimands. Here's a sure way to remember the importance of praise: take your wrist watch (or other piece of jewelry) and place it on the opposite hand from which you are accustomed to wearing it. Throughout the day, when you look at your watch (or jewelry) on the "wrong" hand, you will be reminded to say something supportive and positive to your child.
Dan Feiten, M.D.
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Children learn more easily to do personal chores (e.g., making a bed) when there is spare time. Put some time aside for melding the chores into the routine. The time will come when the chores will have to be performed quickly, efficiently, and without assistance, but it will go more smoothly if they are second nature and already part of the established routine.
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When children do not seem to pay attention or listen to what you are saying, you may find yourself repeating everything you ask, often raising your voice with each repetition. Instead, the first time that you calmly make your request, make sure that your child has direct eye contact with you. Then, ask him to repeat what you said so that you know he understood. Sometimes, this will prevent the familiar cycle of repeating yourself!
Kathleen Traylor, M.D.
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Once children are preschool age and older, have each child take one night a week, or one night a month, as dinner night. Let him decide what he wants to serve, shop with him, and let him direct you in helping with the preparations. Children love doing it, and it gives you fewer dinners to plan yourself!
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Administering eye drops can be uncomfortable to a toddler. Have your child lie on his back and shut his eyes as tight as he can. Place one to two drops in the inner corner of each eye. Tell him to relax his eyes. The liquid will seep into the eye without tears or fuss! Wipe off the excess with a clean cloth or tissue.
Connie Giarratana, M.D.
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Whenever you open your mouth to say the words "don't," "no," "not," "stop," or any other similar negative word, pause. Then, replace the negative word with a positive alternative. This way, your words convey a positive suggestion, rather than a negative reprimand. For example, if you are about to say, "Stop teasing your sister!", pause, and instead say, "You can either come help me in the kitchen, or you may go upstairs and play on the computer until dinner is ready." If he is not convinced, then add, "Do you want to decide which you will do by yourself, or should I decide for you?" This usually works if you stick with it!
Kathleen Traylor, M.D.
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On some days, disciplining your children seems to go smoothly; on other days, it seems to be a complete disaster. If you are at your wit's end, tired, and literally ready to scream, think of a person that you respect, and then pretend that he/she is watching you. It is amazing how this can help you to handle the situation more calmly and effectively, rather than being angry and losing your cool.
Kathleen Traylor, M.D.
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When your child spills something, drops something, or creates a mess, pause before getting upset. Then, calmly ask your child what she was trying to do. You might be surprised at her answers, and you might learn things about your child and her thinking that you would never have known if you had gotten upset. Sometimes, your child really is just trying to help! Once you know what she was trying to accomplish, you can talk calmly about ways that it might work better next time.
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By school age, children understand that death is an irreversible event. Yet even though youngsters recognize that death is something more than going to sleep for a long time, they still may have many unanswered questions that they may not verbalize: Where did grandmother go when she died? What is she feeling? Is she in pain? Why did she die? Can we ever see her again? Are you going to die too? Who will take care of me if you die?
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Baby teeth are important. If baby teeth are lost too early, the teeth that are left may move and not leave any room for adult teeth to come in. Also, if tooth decay is not prevented, it can be costly to treat, cause pain, and lead to life-threatening infections.
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Establishing rules with children is an opportunity to teach the meaning behind them. For example, rather than telling your child "no running" at the swimming pool, point out the sign. Explain that this rule is necessary because the lifeguards are in charge of everyone's safety, and that water makes the surface next to the pool slippery. Some children may want to discuss possible injuries; other children may want to discuss why water makes cement slippery; and still other children may agree to follow the rule just so they can go swimming.
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Children can be miserable with many common illnesses, but viral stomach flu can be particularly miserable for both the child (who feels so poorly) and the parent (who must clean up another episode of vomiting or diarrhea). Since vomiting is a given of childhood, try to add humor to it. Pick out a bucket or other similar container. Then, give it a name (e.g., the purple puke bucket) that children will find funny and will brighten their spirits. Use the bucket solely for this essential and honorable task, and you will know what it means when your child yells for it!
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Your baby is able to communicate with you long before he or she speaks a single word! A baby's cry, smile, and responses to you help you to understand his or her needs. In this publication the American Academy of Pediatrics shares information about how children communicate and what to do when there are concerns about delays in development.
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Most children rarely get the chance to change an adult's mind using their own logic. However, developing logical thoughts is important to their decision-making and communication abilities. For example, dinner is taking longer than expected to prepare. A half-hour before it, your child asks for a snack. Usually, he hears, "Not so close to dinner." However, appetizers or sampling the dinner fare is not uncommon as an adult's hunger builds. Similarly, your child is hungry. You do have a legitimate concern that sweet snacks will ruin his appetite. Try stating it in a way that will elicit a logical response: "My only worry is that fruit snacks will keep you from eating your dinner." Listen to your child's response. Then, come to a compromise that allows a small nutritional snack, and keeps you both in good spirits when dinner is served.
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Sometimes, waking children up in the morning to get ready for school or daycare can be frustrating and stressful, especially if they are grumpy and resistant. Try this: Have the children take turns being the first one awakened, and let that child go and wake up the other child or children. Sometimes, this simple strategy makes a child more excited about waking up, and it makes mornings more enjoyable. It is amazing how nice the children can be to each other in the process. Since they are taking turns, they realize what kind of wake-up call they would like to experience when it is the other child's turn!
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Getting preschoolers and school-age children to take medicine can be very challenging for parents. Try this: pour the medicine into a small medicine cup, measuring out the exact amount prescribed by your doctor. Then, "top it off" with several teaspoons of either strawberry or chocolate syrup. You also can try this for medicine in tablet form. First, using two spoons, crush the pill into a fine powder. Then, put the powder into the medicine cup, and fill it with flavored syrup. Stir until the powder is dissolved, and let your child drink it up!
Kathleen Traylor, M.D.
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Most importantly, let your teen know that he or she can talk with you and his or her doctor about dating and relationships. Offer your guidance throughout this important stage in your teen's life.
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Most rules can, and should, be discussed within a family. In many homes, a rule not up for discussion is that there are no rewards for crying. For example, your child really wants something, and it is refused. Then, your child starts to cry, often very dramatically. As soon as the tears start, the child gives up any negotiating power. Calmly saying, "I'm sorry, we can't even discuss this now," will quickly take the steam out of the crying tactic.
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Parents often wonder about the normal growth of their children. While general guidelines can be followed, always remember variations are the norm with kids! Typically, height doubles between 3 and 4 years old; then, it triples by 13 years old (based on height at birth). Weight usually doubles by about 5 months of age, triples by 12 months of age, and quadruples from 2 to 2 1/2 years of age (based on weight at birth).
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Sometimes, as a parent, yielding to your child's desires (e.g., getting in bed with you at 2 a.m., or crying for candy in the grocery store) by saying "yes" is much easier than saying "no." However, holding firm to your standards of discipline, while maintaining consistency by not changing your mind, will prove far easier for both you and your child in the long run.
Reviewed 9/5/2009
By Daniel Feiten MD
Greenwood Pediatrics
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Weaning from the pacifier can be a dreaded chore of parenting. The longer a child is attached to the pacifier, the harder it becomes to get rid of it. Between six to nine months of age, limit the pacifier to the car and the crib. Between 12 to 15 months of age, take your child to a toy store and let him pick out a new, cuddly, security item. Tell him it is time to say "bye" to his pacifier, while frequently reminding him of his new security object. Then, throw away all of the pacifiers. The child will object, and a few nights may be difficult, but the pacifier is usually quickly forgotten.
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As concerned parents, it's hard for us to not plead with our picky eater to "please eat one more bite". Yet, this approach often leads to frustration and resistance. Change your focus. Instead of putting food on his plate in the quantity that you think he will eat, put one bite of each item on his plate. When he asks for more, give him more from your own plate or a family platter. It's a wonderful opportunity to encourage rather than discourage!
Dan Feiten, M.D.
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For a poison emergency in the U.S. call 1-800-222-1222
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Rewarding children for doing the right thing, for good behavior, or for doing something positive can be a powerful strategy for parents. Sometimes, though, we may feel as though we are bribing our children—that is true if you choose to look at it that way. If you remind yourself to always call it positive reinforcement, rather than bribery, it works, and you feel good about it!
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Put a few drops of liquid hand soap or dish soap into the toilet. Let your son make bubbles by aiming for the colored soap. We let our older son demonstrate it for our younger son and they loved it!
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We used an anatomically correct Emma Doll (Corolle) to help our daughter use play to learn how to go potty. It comes with a book that gives you some tips on how to interact with your child while they are training.
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Parents often are very curious about predicting their child's adult height. You can try to estimate it using one of the following methods:
(1) Review your child's height growth curve with your pediatrician once your child is older than 2 years, and extrapolate it out to 18 years of age on the growth curve.
(2) Try this: Girls are half of their adult height at 18 months of age, while boys are half of their adult height at 24 months of age.
(3) If you like mathematical formulas, calculate this: For girls, take the father's height in inches and subtract 2.5 inches; then, add it to the mother's height in inches, and divide this sum by 2 to get a predicted height in inches. For boys, take the mother's height in inches and add 2.5 inches; then, add it to the father's height in inches, and divide this sum by 2 to get a predicted height in inches.
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Young children may put anything in their mouths. This is part of learning. Many household products can be poisonous if swallowed, if in contact with the skin or eyes, or if inhaled.
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Research has shown that children are influenced by what they see and hear, especially at very young ages. To help parents make informed choices about what their children see and hear, many entertainment companies use ratings systems. Ratings give parents more information about the content of television (TV) programs, movies, music, or computer and video games. Read on for more information from the American Academy of Pediatrics about ratings and how you can help your children make healthy media choices.
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Reading with children is one of the most influential activities that parents can do; it has a permanent impact on their cognitive development and their learning potential. Daily reading time can, and should, be started around six months of age. Infants do best with simple board books where you point out something on each page. Don't worry if they would rather just chew on the books - they are curiously exploring, and that is learning too! Books with simple flaps that open on each page also are enticing to children of this age.
Kathleen Traylor, M.D.
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When reading to toddlers, have them name the items on each page of familiar books, rather than you naming the items. If your child has a favorite book, try to pick a different theme each time you read the book. For example, go through and point out all the animals; the next time, point out the colors; the next time, talk about the shapes; and so on. This keeps the child endlessly learning, and you stay interested too!
Kathleen Traylor, M.D.
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Here are things you can do with your child at different ages to help your child learn to love words and books.
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Here is information from the American Academy of Pediatrics about how you can help your children be more resilient.
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Pediatricians are often the first
responders for children and families suffering emotional and psychological
reactions to terrorism and other disasters. As such, pediatricians have a unique
opportunity to help parents and other caregivers communicate with children in
ways that allow them to better understand and recover from traumatic events such
as terrorist attacks or other disasters. Pediatricians also can help to
facilitate timely referral to mental health services, as appropriate, for these
children and their families.
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Clinical trials are research studies. They are designed to learn more about ways to prevent, detect, or treat diseases. Clinical trials can also help people with chronic (long-term) illnesses find better ways to live each day with their illness.
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Sibling squabbles are almost a right of passage of childhood. The next time your children are fighting over a toy, a game, or a food, pause before getting angry. Then, calmly take away the prized item and positively tell the children that they can have it back once they have solved their differences. Seeing the children look at each other - trying to decide if they should actually figure it out together or if they should just part their ways and go do something else - is actually rewarding as a parent. Your children may even surprise you by deciding among themselves to share or take turns!
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Information from the American Academy of Pediatrics on how single parents can support their children and themselves.
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Sleep problems are very common during the first few years of life. Problems may include waking up during the night, not wanting to go to sleep, nightmares, sleepwalking, and bedwetting. If frantic upset persists with no apparent cause, call your child's doctor.
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Anger is normal. It is natural to feel this way when you or someone you care about has been treated badly. It's up to us to decide how to act when we get angry.
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Suicide is the second leading cause of death for 10- to 24-year-olds. Parents can help protect their children by being aware of risk factors and warning signs and talking with their child.
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Talking with your teen is one of the most important things you can do to help keep your child safe.
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Some parents may not be comfortable talking with their children about sex and sexuality. However, if children aren’t getting the facts about sex and sexuality from their parents, they could be getting incorrect information from their friends or the media. Here is information from the American Academy of Pediatrics to help parents talk with their children about sex and sexuality.
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Our daughter used to have tantrums whenever we would get to the checkout counter at the store because she wanted a treat. We learned to prepare her by telling her in the car as we approached the store: "Mommy is going to buy some good food and a treat when we go to the store. If there is no crying at the checkout, we'll eat that treat when we get home."
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Have your child stand on a step stool in front of the mirror so she can see herself. Give her your toothbrush, while you hold hers. Then, tell her that she gets to brush your teeth, while you brush hers. Stand over her, bending forward with your mouth open, and instruct her to start brushing your teeth. Because she is so busy brushing your teeth, she is pretty much unaware of the thorough job you can do on her teeth. You also get a good view of the backsides of her lower central teeth, where plaque build-up is usually the greatest.
Kathleen Traylor, M.D.
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Teething is the cause of occasional worry by parents, occasional fussiness by infants, and just plain curiosity by both! The general guidelines for incoming teeth are as follows: Central incisors usually come in around 6 months of age, lateral incisors around 8 months of age, first molars around 14 months of age, canines around 19 months of age, and second molars around 24 months of age. By 2 1/2 years of age, children should have 20 teeth. Remember to brush them daily! These 20 teeth remain until school age; then, the baby teeth will start to fall out and be replaced by the permanent teeth. Children should start seeing the dentist regularly around 3 years of age.
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It's hard for young children to hold strong feelings inside. When they feel frustrated or angry, they often cry, scream, or stomp up and down. This is a temper tantrum. Temper tantrums are a normal part of your child's development. They usually begin around age 12 to 18 months, get worse between 2 and 3 years, then taper off after that, once children are able to use words to communicate their wants and needs. This publication was written by the American Academy of Pediatrics to help parents understand temper tantrums and how best to deal with them.
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The good news is that most children stop their
sucking habits before they get very far in school. This is because of peer
pressure. While your child might still use sucking as a way of going to sleep or
calming down when upset, this is usually done in private and is not harmful.
Putting too much pressure on your child to stop may cause more harm than good.
Be assured your child will eventually stop the habit on her own.
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If you choose to have a home trampoline, the AAP recommends the following safety precautions: adult supervision at all times, only one jumper on the trampoline at a time, and no somersaults should be performed. Also, trampolines should have adequate protective padding that is in good condition and appropriately placed. All equipment should be checked often and protective padding, the net enclosure, and any other parts should be repaired or replaced when damaged. Parents should check their homeowner's policy and obtain a rider to cover trampoline-related injuries if not included in the basic policy.
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We discovered that we could go to storynory.com and download some brief audio books/stories with a message. We load them onto our iPod and let our 4 year old listen to them whenever we go on a long trip.
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Getting children to taste or try new foods is often a trying experience. It is okay to keep offering it, and you may eventually succeed. Surveys have shown that children may need to see something on their plate 10 to 20 times before they will actually try it!
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Here is information from the American Academy of Pediatrics to help parents prepare older siblings (big brothers and big sisters) for a new sibling (little brother or little sister).
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Parents often get worried when their child won't eat vegetables. Keep offering different vegetable choices (presented in interesting ways) to your child, but be reassured that many of the necessary vitamins and minerals in vegetables are also in the fruits that your child may eat more willingly. If you are still concerned, give your child a children's chewable multivitamin. Don't forget that you can always count the tomatoes on your child's favorite pizza as their daily vegetable!
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The most difficult time for a child to learn a rule is when it has been broken. Instead, try to establish a rule before there is an opportunity to break it. For example, telling a child to stop running by a swimming pool immediately sets up a conflict. An explanation of the rule upon arrival at the pool allows communication of it before the conflict arises. This is not to say that there won't be a discussion of adhering to the rules later!
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Great physical health is characterized by strength, flexibility, comfort, energy, endurance, and coordination. Similarly, great mental health includes feeling cheerful, hopeful, confident, resilient, adaptable, and connected to the people and world around us. Developing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is the foundation for physical and mental health.